I Know Just What You'd Say...

The house is so quiet, so still. How can life change so fast? Your clothes are still hanging in your closet. Your bed is still made where I made it the day after you went to the hospital. I walk through your room so still. Everything just the same... or almost just the same.  The night light in the bathroom is off. Your cane rests in the corner of the room instead of in your hand. 

Despite the heater humming your room seems so cold. Like stepping outside on a snowy morning and knowing no one else is out. Your footsteps seem to echo over the frozen ground. 

I can't stand to stay in this room long but sometimes I just can't stay away. I half smile at the boxes of Christmas village stacked in one of your closets that you loved so much. How many years did we put it out together? How much fun we had as I handed you things to put out and smiled up at you telling you if it was "the perfect spot" which of course it was... perching on a ladder with steaming hot cups of cocoa on a freezing morning putting Christmas lights up. 

And then one year we switched, I was the one on the top of the ladder you at the bottom smiling up.  Oh, how you loved Christmas! And then as the years went on, I did more by myself but the light was still there in your eyes. Making you almost look like a small child filled with the magic of Christmas... But as the years went on that to began to dim... until only at certain moments could you see it in your blue eyes. But it was still there. I can almost hear your voice in my mind as I run my hand over the rough cardboard boxes. 

I know just what you’d say…

You’d say “oh my goodness” and “I love you, honey”.  “Do you want to spend the night?”, “Can I pray for you?”. And with that guilty look of yours and a hand over your heart “Who me?” followed by a twinkle in your eye and “How could you think so?” 

“Drive carefully," - even if you’re just walking “I pray a hedge of protection around you and your car” or “Lord surround their car with angels” and “Can I sing you a song?” 

You see Grandma I know just what you'd say... "It so nice to see you,"Do we have anything sweet?"  "Ice Cream sounds good" and "Bless your heart". And "I need to blow my nose."
You would pray every day for your children and grandchildren, on your knees even when it hurt to do so.  When you would hear of a need you were quick to offer help, love, a place for those that needed a home.  You stood in the cold serving food you helped cook for the homeless and you were not afraid to love on the ones that stood before you. Strangers became family in the blink of an eye.  Sailors hundreds of miles away from their family found family in your arms.  Those hurting and needing a home found a place of love and care seldom seen in this world.  Orphans became grandchildren in the blink of an eye.  You held nothing back from anyone.

I can still hear your voice as we sit around the table... and I know just what you'd say... Faith plops down beside me with a sigh and I know just what you'd say, " What's wrong pooch?" 

The Most Important thing to me is ending up in heaven and having all of my children and grandchildren make it there, so be there everyone. - Martha Gibson 1996