Friday, September 12, 2014

I'm Not Enough

I'm. Not. Enough.

I'm not enough. I can't get the yard to look the way I pictured it. There are weeds in the flower beds. The thistles in the tomato patch are waist high. The gardens are dead. I'm a failure. My room is a mess. My clothes from yesterday are on the floor where I dropped them at one in the morning when I went to bed because I can't sleep at night. 

I'm a wreck.

The rabbit is out- again. I need to go catch her. I have science and math I still need to work on because for the life of me I can't get my brain to understand it. I need to work on a recipe for the blog. I need to make cinnamon rolls to serve for breakfast tomorrow. I still have to help dad finish mowing before it starts raining. The fall garden needs to be put in.

I'm a failure.

                                                                                        For Me. 

But then a quiet voice whispers as I finally drift off to sleep "with me you are enough".

No matter who you are. No matter what you've done. No matter where you've been. No matter how far you run. He loves you. He didn't make a mistake. He put you where you are for a reason, let him take care of the rest. With him, I am enough. Despite the clothes on the floor and the weeds in the flower beds or the thistles in the tomatoes. Despite everything, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am his masterpiece. 

Yes, I'm still a mess- but I'm a beautiful mess. Like a bright flower in an overgrown garden. Just that bit of color that gives the whole garden a feeling that it's not hopeless. With some time and effort in will be stunning. You are his masterpiece. We. Are. Enough.

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